The rib ticklers used
below are used with permission from the author Ralph Milton.
Rib Tickler 1
A young clergy person,
fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears
and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a
policeman for several months.
He passed the
physical examination; then came the oral exam to test
his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency. Among other questions he
was asked, "What would you do to disperse a frenzied crowd?"
He thought for a
moment and then responded cheerfully; "I would take up a
collection."
Rib Tickler 2
It was the Sunday
before Christmas, the fourth Sunday of Advent, and the minister had gathered
the children around the chancel steps.
"What
do you see that's different about the church this morning?" she asked.
There was
silence. Not a hand went up.
"There's something about our church that is different - something that
doesn't happen very often. Do you know what it is?"
Finally a
hand went up. "It's full!"
Rib Tickler 3
While walking
along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a
prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently,
his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper burial should be performed, they found a small box and cotton batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The
minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers. With sonorous dignity
he intoned his version of what he thought his father always said. "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto
the Soonn, and into the hole he gooooes."
Rib Tickler 4
A minister decided that a visual demonstration
would add emphasis to the Sunday sermon.
Four worms
were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of
alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third
worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into
a container of good clean soil.
At the
conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The
first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead. Third
worm in chocolate syrup - Dead. Fourth worm in good clean
soil - Alive.
"So," said the Minister. "What can you learn from this
demonstration?"
Maxine, who
was setting way in the back, quickly raised her hand. "As long as you
drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
Rib Tickler 5
It was the
week before Christmas. The two young boys were spending the night at their
Grandparent's home. At bedtime the boys knelt beside their beds to say their
prayers.
"I pray
for a new mountain bike," prayed the youngest boy at the top of his lungs.
"And I pray for a new Nintendo Game, and for a new I-Pod." He yelled
so loud his brother covered his ears. "I pray for a new portable
"What
are you yellin' so loud for?" asked the elder
brother. "God isn't deaf!"
"No," said the youngest, "but grandma is."