The rib ticklers used below are used with permission from the author Ralph Milton.

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Rib Tickler 41

This from Robert Moore.
            A pastor in a large city church announced that he had been elected bishop and would be leaving the church. But he assured the congregation that his successor would be a very good pastor for the congregation.
            An older member lamented that no one could be as good as he had been. He assured her that she would be very pleased with her new pastor.
            She became agitated and said, "But you don't understand. I've been here many years and I've seen many pastors and each one has been worse than the one before."

            Robert, on a semi-serious note, what that woman said is probably true. It has been well demonstrated that as we age, we edit our memories, and usually toward the good side. So the pastors we remember tend to get better and better as the years go by. Which is a bit tough on alive and current pastors.

Rib Tickler 42

After reading Jim's column below, I couldn't resist this one. This epitaph was on a tombstone in San Diego, California, according to a newspaper printed in 1860.
Here lies the body of Jeemes Humbrick
                        who was accidentally shot on the
                        bank of the Pacus River by a young man.
                        He was accidentally shot with one
                        of the large Colt's revolvers with
                        no stopper for the cock to rest on,
                        it was one of the old-fashioned kind
                        brass mounted. And of such is the
                        Kingdom of heaven.

Rib Tickler 43

He had been used to playing golf in the withering summer heat of Arizona. When he died and went to hell, the heat of the place didn't impress him.
            "Got any golf courses around here?" he asked the devil.
"Of course. Beautiful golf courses. Lots of 'em!"
            "So where do I find the clubs and the balls?" asked the man.
            "Haven't got any," replied the devil. "That's the hell of it."

Rib Tickler 44

This from Cliff and/or Maureen Bolt.
            One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and with small flags mounted on either side of it.
            "Good morning, Alex," said the pastor.
            "Good morning, said little Alex. Then pointing to the plaque: "What is this?"
            "Well, son, it's a memorial plaque to all the young men and women who died in the Service."
            Little Alex's voice was barely audible. "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"

Rib Tickler 45

The Bible Study Group leader was explaining the rich legacy of the Hebrew tradition.
            "Because of Moses, you have Saturday off," she explained. "Because of Jesus, you have Sunday off."
            "Yeah," said one of the participants. "Five more good Jewish boys like that and we'd never have to work."