The rib ticklers used below are used with permission from the author Ralph Milton.

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Rib Tickler 11

 

A guy who produced religious television shows was driving through the woods of Tennessee (or wherever you like) when he saw a sign that said, "Preaching Dog for Sale."
           Thinking this might be useful, he walks into the house. "You have a talking dog for sale here?" he asks.
           "Sure do," said the little lady in the rocker. "He's out back."
           The TV producer went to the back yard. He saw a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
           "You talk?" he asked.
           "Yep,"
           "So what's your story?"
           "Well," the dog growled, "I learned that I could talk when I was just a pup. I got to be quite a sensation. I opened for Oral Roberts and Billy Graham. I did interviews on
100 Huntley Street. I was on the staff at Willow Creek in Chicago. And I preached up and down through the southwest for years."
           "Wow," said the TV producer. "That sounds great. I'm going to talk to the lady and find out what your price is."
           Inside the house, the old lady is still rocking away. "How much do you want for your dog?"
           "A hundred bucks."
           "What? That's pretty cheap for a dog like that?"
           "The dog's a liar," said the lady. "He's a lousy preacher."

 

Rib Tickler 12

 

There's the story of the venerable bishop who was approached by a prostitute. "I'm sorry," said the bishop. "I can't. You see, it's Lent."
            "Well, honey," said the woman. "Let me know when you get it back."

 

Rib Tickler 13

 

Two nuns were shopping in a food store, and happened to be passing the booze section.
            "Would you like a beer with supper tonight?" one nun asks the other.
            "That would be nice," the other nun replies. "But I'd be so embarrassed taking beer through the check-out."
            "Don't worry, I can handle it."
            As the beer passed through the check-out person, the nun said cheerily, "We use the beer to wash our hair. It makes it soft and silky."
            The check out person said nothing. But just before the final total was to be rung up, she reached under the counter and pulled out a bag of pretzels. "Here," she said. "You forgot the curlers."

 

Rib Tickler 14

 

A new arrival in heaven was surprised to see a suggestion box along Main Street. The heavenly newbie turned to a more seasoned resident and asked, "If everything is perfect and everybody is happy in heaven, why is there a suggestion box?"            
            "Because some people aren't really happy unless they complain."

 

Rib Tickler 15

 

This from Stephani Keer: A friend of mine, a pastor, had to go down to the place where we met on Sundays to pick up some equipment. Unfortunately, the area was not the most, ummm, salubrious.
             A young woman, wearing rather little clothing, asked my friend if he would give her a ride to a bus stop because it was so cold. He opened the door and she got in.
             Trying to make a bit of conversation, he asked, "Are you going to work?"
             "No," said the young woman. "I'm just getting off work."
             "And where do you work?" asked the pastor.
             "I'm a hooker," she said. "Do you want me to get out?"
             "I'm a pastor," my friend replied. "Do you want to get out?"