The
rib ticklers used below are used with permission from the author Ralph Milton.

Rib Tickler 21
You may have heard the story of the man
who died and went to heaven. Just as he arrived, he noticed a large crowd
gathering, so he asked St. Peter what it was all about.
"Oh,"
said St. Peter. "It's show and tell time. People get to tell about
memorable experiences in their lives on earth."
"Great!"
said the man. "Do you think I could tell about the big flood we had in our
town a few years ago and how I saved people?"
"Sure,"
said St. Peter. "But remember. Noah will be in the audience."
Rib Tickler 22
Asking children questions in worship is
always risky business.
The minister
read a (non-biblical) parable for a children's sermon. It was rather long and a
little over their heads.
At the end
of the story the minister asked, "Now, children, what do you think this
story means?"
After a
long, uncomfortable silence, a small voice piped up, clear as a bell:
"Nothing!"
Rib Tickler 23
A busload of church women were
killed and went to heaven. Since renovations were being made to the heavenly
mansions, St. Peter could not accommodate them, and sent them down to hell. Temporarily, of course.
Not many
weeks had passed when St. Peter received an urgent call from Old Nick.
"Take these women back immediately!"
"Why?" asked St. Peter.
"Why?
Because they've been holding so many teas and bazaars and sales, they've raised
enough money to install air conditioning in the place."
Rib Tickler 24
You've seen this one here before, but I'm
running it again because I'm a fair bit ticked at all things computerish.
They were
demonstrating a new computer program at the trade fair. "It can translate
anything from any language to another," said the salesperson.
"So if
I give you a sentence," said a minister, "will you translate it into
Russian, then back into English."
"Sure,
no problem," said the sales person. "100% accuracy guaranteed."
"Here's
the sentence," said the minister. "It's something Jesus said. 'The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.'"
It only took
a few seconds. The computer translated it into Russian, then back into English.
The result:
"The
wine is good but the meat is rotten."
Rib Tickler 25
The story is told of the controversial
Bishop Robinson who was invited to preach at a large and ancient church in
"Give
it all y'got, your Grace," said the verger.
"The agnostics in this church is terrible!"