The
rib ticklers used below are used with permission from the author Ralph Milton.
Rib Tickler 31
This from Evelyn McLachlan.
God: "Whew! I'm bushed. I just created a 24-hour period of alternating
light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"
God: "I think I'll call it a day."
Rib Tickler 32
This from April Dailey who says she
"almost got some ripe garden tomatoes and zucchinis tossed my way"
for this one.
Bubba went to church. He went to the preacher and asked him to pray for his
hearing. The preacher put his hands over Bubba's ears and prayed fervently.
"How's your hearing now?" the preacher asked?
"Don't know" said Bubba. "My hearing's next Tuesday."
Rib Tickler 33
This from Evelyn McLachlan
of
A little girl was in church with her mother when she started
feeling ill.
"Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"
"No," her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!" exclaimed the girl.
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw
up behind a bush," said her mother.
After about sixty seconds, the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you
throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes," the little girl replied.
"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and
returned so quickly?" her mother asked.
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the
front door that says, 'For the Sick.”
Rib Tickler 34
Courtesy of Evelyn McLachlan:
The following was overheard at a recent 'high society' party:
"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said
Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your
family go?"
"I don't know," replied Miriam, "All of our family records were
lost in the flood."
Rib Tickler 35
This from April Dailey who got it from Grace
Yaple.
The man was very discouraged. "What
should I do?" he asked his minister. "The doctor tells me I have to
lose weight, but I don't know how to do it."
"I know the problem," said the minister. "But I found a diet
that really works."
"So what was it? I hate celery and cottage cheese."
"It works like this," said the minister. "You eat regularly for
two days, then you skip one day, and then eat regularly for two days. Do this
for three weeks. See what happens."
Three weeks later the man was back. And wonder of wonders, he had lost 25
pounds. But he didn't look happy.
"How did you do it?" asked his minister.
"It was terrible," said the man. "It almost killed me?"
"You followed my instructions?"
"Yeah. And all that skipping every third day darn near killed me."