The rib ticklers used below are used with permission from the author Ralph Milton.

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Rib Tickler 36

The minister had just preached a sermon. It contained a number of hard-hitting instances of Christians being less than faithful.
           "Finally," said the minister, "you need to know that the instances I've been preaching about are real, even though the names and situations have been changed to protect the guilty."

Rib Tickler 37

Kathy Graham of Mississauga, Ontario reports: "It's so dry in Arizona that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water."

Rib Tickler 38

This story has a "moral" which you need to know in advance. It's about preaching inflammatory or at least stimulating sermons, because if the preacher doesn't do that, and the congregation isn't up in the air about something, the whole church grinds to a halt under its own dead weight.

This fellow is driving a truck down the highway. The truck keeps slowing down, then stopping. The driver gets out, walks to the back of the truck, bangs it with a tire iron a few times, then gets back in the cab and starts driving again. The process is repeated several times. A driver who has been following the truck stops and asked the trucker, "What's happening?"
            "Well," says he. "My truck holds one ton and I've got two tons of canaries in the back. I've got to keep at least half of them in the air all the time or the truck stops."

Rib Tickler 39

This from Evelyn McLachlan of Mississauga, Ontario.

Three ministers were talking about sermon preparation and when they had the sermon completed.  The Presbyterian minister said he had his done by 4pm on Wednesday.  The Anglican priest said hers was finished Friday at 1pm.
            The Baptist (United, Methodist, whatever) looked puzzled and then asked "What do you do during the anthem then?"

Rib Tickler 40

This from Irene Carter of Calgary, Alberta.

            "Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks, 'God, what does a million years mean to you?'
            'A minute." says the voice from God.
            'And what does a million dollars mean to you?'
            "A penny,' says the voice of God.
            'Well, God, can I have a penny?'
'In a minute'."